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Jamaican Humor

Three prisoners are waiting to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. The Italian responds, "Pepperoni Pizza."The warden serves him his Pepperoni Pizza, and then escorts him to his execution. The Frenchman requests Filet Mignon. The warden serves him his Filet Mignon, and then escorts him to his execution. The Jamaican requests a plate of Strawberries. "STRAWBERRIES?????"

"Yes, strawberries."The warden replies, "but they're out of season!"
"So?" replies the Jamaican. "I man will wait, star...."



Modern Mathematics

Romance Mathematics
smart  man + smart woman = romance
smart man +  dumb woman = affair
dumb man + smart woman = marriage
dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office Arithmetic

smart boss + smart employee =  profit
smart boss + dumb employee =  production
dumb boss + smart employee =  promotion
dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Shopping Math

A man will pay $2 for a $1  item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't need.

General Equations & Statistics

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more  money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a  man.

To be happy with a man, you must  understand him a lot and love him a
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and  try not to
understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men,  but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

Any married man should forget his  mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same  thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went  to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the  night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will  change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman  expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A woman has the last word in any  argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a  new one.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't  understand a woman.
Before marriage and after marriage.